Halcyon
by mumyou nanashi
Summary: Happy endings exist only in fairytales. The moment he said goodbye, she knew it was the end. But still, she seeks closure, an ending, whether happy or not. [AC, alternate ending, set after SEED]
1. Prologue

_**Edited: **221105_

_**Changes: **Major. Chapter completely replaced. Plot still the same._

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**Prologue**

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The war had started with the tragedy of Junius Seven, where 243,721 people had lost their lives in the bloodiest Valentine that the world had seen. It was the rallying point for mankind. Everywhere he looked, there were changes. His teachers changed. His friends changed. His home changed. His family changed. His father changed.

He changed.

With efficient use of his weapon, he had delivered many a people to death's scythe. And at times, when driven with rage, he killed without hesitation, without remorse, without fail. He had justified it with the desire to end the war.

His resolve wavered when he discovered that a friend was in front of the knife that he was holding. But with the death of a comrade by that friend's hands, his resolve was hardened. Then his friend, now his enemy. And enemies were supposed to be killed.

He changed.

He killed. And it wasn't like he imagined it to be. With the help of someone, he realized quite a few things. War was a sadistic cycle and could only be stopped when the cycle is cut off. Change was inevitable.

He changed.

He fought for revenge then, he fights for peace now. He was now fighting _with_ the people he was once _against_. He was now fighting _against_ the people he was once _with_. But there was always a constant in an equation. War started with death and it will end with death.

He clutched the protective charm on his necklace and he apologized softly to pleading amber eyes before turning off the communication device. He might have undergone quite a few changes but there was always something constant in his equation.

He fought then to protect, and he still fights to protect.

Athrun Zala closed his eyes and resigned himself to his fate.

-

The war had started with the destruction of Heliopolis and the abduction of the four prototype mobile suits. It was her country's mistake that led to the war.

She joined a rebel group and watched her friends die one by one. She fought blindly, never thinking of the repercussions. Victory was all that mattered. But she realized that emotions weren't exactly the right weapons when going into battle. She joined the crew of a warship, and even piloted a jet-fighter.

She aimed her gun, but she didn't pull the trigger

She encountered the pilot of a mobile suit – the enemy. She imagined them to be monsters, being able to pilot a thing that causes so much death. But he wasn't. He was human, through and through. Nevertheless, she knew then, that she was now given a chance to right a mistake.

She aimed her gun, but she didn't pull the trigger.

After talking with her father, she realized many things. But there was that mobile suit pilot again. He looked the same but he had changed. He killed someone dear to her and he suddenly became the monster that she imagined him to be.

She aimed her gun, but she didn't pull the trigger.

But monsters didn't cry. They never felt remorse for what they did. The one standing in front of her wasn't a mobile suit pilot or a monster. The one standing in front of her was a broken person. He needed protection, just like any other individual and it seemed as if no one had given it to him before. So she gave it to him.

She saw a red flight unit rushing towards her – the thing that he had hoped would stop her from following. The flight unit was getting closer and he was getting farther. He was going to throw away her protection. He was leaving her.

She aimed her gun…

…but she couldn't pull the trigger.

The flight unit had already slammed into her mobile suit pushing her backwards, farther from him. She heard him apologize, regret clearly written in his green eyes. And then she was cut off completely. No matter how much she struggled, how many buttons she pushed, she was still being dragged backwards.

Cagalli Yula Athha had always aimed her gun but never pulled the trigger. Before, it led her closer to him. Now, it was different.

-

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_**Author's Notes: **Well, if someone's still bothering to read this, please review and tell me what you think. Did you notice the changes? Which is better? The first draft or this one?_


	2. Chapter 1 Catharsis

_**Edited: **112205_

_**Changes: **Major changes for sentence construction; some paragraphs added; plot still the same._

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**-**

**Chapter 1 – Catharsis**

**-**

For all that has happened in the war, there was only one thing that registered in his mind. _The war is over._ He had seen it through the end and he was assured of the safety of his loved ones. He couldn't really care, one way or another if he died.

But just as the thought presented itself into his mind, his eyes caught sight of a piece of jewelry. No. He couldn't die just yet… because there were still many things that he had to do… so many things that he had to say.

And as if the heavens heard his silent plea, he heard his name being called. He looked around and saw a beat-up mobile suit approaching him. As it got steadily closer, he could see that the cockpit was open and that a familiar face was piloting it.

He closed his eyes and smiled.

-

Kira Yamato woke up to the sound of the heart-wrenching cries coming from someone beside him. He opened his eyes wearily and winced at the bright light. He could slowly feel the pain creeping back into his sore muscles but he ignored it. He turned his head to the direction of the sound and was surprised to see a blonde head buried in one of his pillows.

He tried to get up but felt someone gently push him back to the comfort of his bed. He followed the length of the hands and smiled when he saw that it was none other than Lacus Clyne. But the smile quickly disappeared from his face when he saw her tear-stained cheeks. "What's wrong?" he asked, his voice hoarse and his throat feeling scratchy.

At the sound of his voice, Cagalli immediately engulfed him in a fierce hug. "Kira!" Cagalli began sobbing even harder, her shoulders shaking violently.

Kira diverted his gaze back to Lacus and gave her a look of askance. Lacus shook her head and tears began to fill in her eyes.

Then suddenly, Cagalli locked red, puffy eyes into his. "Kira! You have to help me! Athrun is still in GENESIS!"

Kira blinked and felt his mouth go dry. He swallowed hard before speaking. "But… it exploded."

Cagalli started to become hysterical, her hold on Kira's shirt tightening. "A-Athrun must've escaped somehow! We have to go out there and find him!"

Kira opened his mouth to reply when a soft voice cut him off. "Don't bother." There, standing beside the doorway, was a silver-haired boy about the same age as he was. "Athrun set the self-destruct mode of Justice inside GENESIS. The Strike Rouge tried to follow him but I pulled it out of the way."

Cagalli whirled around and glared angrily at the boy. "You shouldn't have butted in! Wasn't he your comrade? You should've stopped him!"

The boy just looked at her with his cold, blue eyes, his face not giving anything away.

Kira's heart sank as the boy's words finally sank in. He looked at Lacus questioningly and her tear-filled eyes were enough of an answer. It felt like his heart was wrenched in two. His friend… another one of his friends was taken away from him. He sat there, mind frozen in shock.

Finally, the silver-haired boy straightened up and walked out of the room. Before the automatic doors slid shut, he looked at Cagalli in the eye and said in his most sincere tone, "I'm sorry."

Cagalli cried even harder and tried to pull Kira. "Kira! Get up! We have to do something!"

Ledonir Kisaka suddenly appeared beside Cagalli and pulled her away from Kira. Cagalli tried violently to break free but Kisaka had a strong grip. "Let go of me! I said let go! Kisaka! Athrun is –"

"Gone," Kisaka finished for her, voice firm. "He's gone Cagalli, you have to accept it."

Cagalli was livid. "NO! He saved us – all of us! The least we can do is –"

"What do you think, Cagalli?" Kisaka asked her. "Mr. Jule told us he went back after leaving you with Dearka. He went back for Athrun but he was too late; GENESIS had already exploded. How do you think could Athrun possibly escape that blow?"

At that, Cagalli broke down completely. "He programmed the Fatum-00 to get me out of GENESIS. I couldn't get to him. He told me to escape and..." she couldn't bear finish the sentence and instead cried her heart out for all that she had lost.

-

After the war, everything should've gone back to normal. But it didn't. 'Normal' for them was having their friends, their loved ones near them to celebrate the peace. Yes, there was peace, but with the immense number of lives lost, peace and normalcy would have to wait – because for now, it was the time for mourning.

Yzak Jule and Dearka Elthman had gone back to the PLANTs to face the consequences of their defection. But with the way the war had ended, things were looking up for them. And indeed it was. Yzak, with a few technicalities on his side, was promoted to Captain. Dearka, on the other hand, who had openly defected and fought against ZAFT, was demoted and was now serving under Yzak as second-in-command.

Miriallia Haww was trying hard to regain a semblance of her previous life. She had moved on but she had never forgotten those lost in the battles. She had decided to take photography as a hobby and was often seen with a camera on one hand.

Kira Yamato and Lacus Clyne were currently living with Reverend Malchio and his orphans. Kira had already made peace with himself, but his eyes still held the deep sadness that he had experienced with the loss of so many loved ones.

But Cagalli Yula Athha still had not recovered. Her father was someone very dear to her and having his death followed by another death was just too much for her to bear. She still had not officially taken up her place among the Emirs.

The time for mourning was indefinite.

-

The Athha mansion felt cold, distant and aloof. No longer did it feel welcoming or warm and Kira could feel it in volumes. He looked at the person in front of him. Cagalli had lost weight, and her eyes had seemed to be always red and puffy from crying. She was no longer the vibrant person that she used to be and it saddened him.

He could feel her pain.

"How are you, Cagalli?"

They could feel her pain.

"Mr. and Mrs. Yamato had been asking for you."

But she refused to believe them and kept on pushing them away.

"Just… leave me alone."

She stood up and left them. It was probably one of her bad days. Sometimes, she would talk to them or even try to smile. But more often than not, she chose to be alone and cut herself completely from human contact.

There were times when Kira thought that Cagalli was making it hard for herself – acting as if she was the only person who was feeling that way. Athrun had been his best friend and also someone close to Lacus. She wasn't the only one that he left. Him and Lacus, Athrun left them too.

Sensing his inner struggle, Lacus held his hand and squeezed it gently. "Try to understand her, Kira. She is hurting. Just give her time."

Kira nodded slowly and gave her a tiny smile. "Thank you, Lacus… for being here with me… for everything."

Lacus smiled sadly as she lifted our hands. "This is the reason why we're different from Cagalli, Kira. We still have each other."

-

_Athrun..._

_You said you'll protect me. You lied. You lied to me._

_You left me. You shouldn't have escaped alone. You should have brought me with you. I don't see the point in staying here anymore. You and father already left me. At times, I feel like I have no more tears left to cry. And it feels hard to breathe...like my chest is about to explode._

_Why did so many people have to die just to end the war? I haven't realized it until now, but I've always been surrounded by death – my experiences in Heliopolis, with the Desert Dawn, with the Archangel, in Orb, and the final battle._

_Some people think that it was better that you died because we belong to entirely different worlds. They were wrong… we lived in the same world. But now… they are right now…_

_I feel hurt. Hurt that you didn't even consider that you'll be leaving me behind when you did your heroic act. Did you love me at all? I know that by living, you would've carried the guilt of your father having been responsible for so many lives. But we could've carried it together._

_People like Lacus and Kira tell me they know how I feel. How can they? Sure they've lost a loved one. But they still have each other. No one can replace you. No one._

_Kisaka tells me that I should move on. Move on to what, I wonder? It's like I don't even have the strength to do anything at all._

_I look at Lacus and Kira and I feel angry. Why? Because they have something that I lost. They keep on saying that they understand me. But I don't believe them._

_If they did know how I feel, they'll know that all I want is for them to leave me alone._

-

Lacus looked at Kira at the corner of her eye as she sipped her tea. She felt that the sadness in Kira's heart will never truly go away. She knew that Kira's heart was crying in agony. She could hear it at night when everyone was asleep and it was only the two of them.

She briefly wondered what would happen to her if it was Kira who died and she was the one in Cagalli's shoes. No. She couldn't even bear to imagine the pain.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted when the door suddenly flew open. Mana came rushing towards them, looking upset. "Sir Kira," she began, addressing Kira, "I came up to the Princess' chambers to check up on her but she wasn't there!"

-

After the events of the war had unfolded, people had begun to follow the peace talks with vigor. But none of them were as determined as he was. He had watched it, hoping to see a familiar face, hoping to hear news about her well-being. She had lost so many loved ones in the war and he had wanted to know whether she was coping or not.

The days progressed and after waiting patiently for so long, the only piece of news that he had managed to scour distressed him greatly.

And that brought him to his current predicament, safely hidden behind the shadows of one of the tall Grecian columns decorating the ancient-inspired garden. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and brushed the black hair out of his ice-blue eyes.

His ears prickled at the sound of hurried footsteps and he chanced a glance to see who it was. A pink-haired lady and a brown-haired young man were rushing towards the gate, looking very distraught. He strained his hearing and managed to catch snippets of their hurried conversation.

_"She couldn't have gotten very far…"_

_"But, what if she just went outside for some fresh air?"_

_"Lacus, this is Cagalli were talking about…"_

He watched them until they disappeared from his line of sight. He stood still thinking for a few moments, and then he was gone.

-

The scene in front of Miriallia Haww was breathtakingly beautiful. The sky was a mixture of pink, orange, purple and blue. The sun was in the horizon and its orangey yellow color was being reflected by the now dark sea. A few seagulls were squawking softly in the distance and the afternoon waves rolled lazily by the beach. It was hard to believe that just two weeks ago, it was a battlefield.

_Click!_

As soon as she came back to Orb, she adopted this hobby to keep her busy. It was kind of appropriate for her.

_Click!_

After being one of the survivors of the recent war, she realized that not all things were permanent. Everything was bound to change. For the good or for the bad, it didn't matter. Ironically, change was the only constant thing in the world.

_Click!_

And that was why it was so wonderful to be able to preserve a piece of something with her camera.

She stood still, breathing in the salty sea air and enjoying the wind playing with her hair. She remembered the day when she was still in the Archangel with her friends. She smiled at the thought. Kuzzey actually believed that there were sea monsters.

_Tolle was still alive then..._

She sighed. She was trying hard to move on. There were nights when she would cry herself to sleep. There were days when she would feel as if everything would be okay. She knew that Tolle would want her to move on, but it was hard. She didn't want to forget about him. But still she was trying. Her thoughts drifted to a certain Buster Pilot and she shook her head.

_That's a different story. I'm not ready yet, but they say time heals all wounds..._

Her thoughts were interrupted when she saw a lone figure sitting by the sand several meters away. There was something familiar about that blonde head...

She squinted and recognized the figure as Cagalli. She strode to where Cagalli was sitting, feeling pity once she saw the hunched figure. Her knees were pulled close to her chest and her head was propped in her folded arms.

Miriallia bit her lip as she recalled what had happened up in space. Many stories, many events had happened there and Cagalli's did not end with a happy ending. She was, after all, one of those who witnessed it.

_Athrun died..._

"Cagalli?" she asked tentatively when she reached her. She took in her disheveled appearance and her red, puffy eyes.

"Leave me alone," she said dully. She didn't even look at Miriallia and sounded as if she was so tired of having to tell this to everyone.

Miriallia stared at Cagalli, sighed, and then sat beside her. For a few minutes, she let silence fill the gap.

Finally, Cagalli broke the silence. "Milly, Athrun was the one who killed Tolle."

Miriallia blinked, surprised at why Cagalli told her this. And then she felt her eyes water. "I know. But I don't blame him. It was a war." Surprisingly, her voice did not break.

"He killed so many people. He almost killed Kira, his best friend, because Kira killed Nicol, a comrade of his. His mother died in the Bloody Valentine and his father shot him when he decided that he didn't want to follow his orders anymore."

Miriallia was confused. "Why are you telling me this?"

"It's just that I think maybe one or all of those were the reasons why Athrun chose to be blown up with GENESIS," she answered in a would-be detached voice.

Silence.

"Listen, Cagalli," Miriallia said quietly. "I know how you feel. I've been through that."

"No. You know what's different between us! Tolle died unwillingly! But Athrun… He died because he chose to!"

"But you have to move on. The fact that Athrun didn't let you die with him proves that he wants you to live your life." She had expected a scathing reply but Cagalli was silent. Miriallia knew that she was listening, so she continued. "He might've lost all desire to live but he didn't want you to give up your life with him. He knows that you still have so much to do. Your father might've thought about the same thing. Wouldn't you think that they'll be sad you aren't fulfilling their expectations?"

Cagalli choked back a sob. "Expectations? They leave me behind and still they expect something from me? How can they be so selfish? They didn't even consider me as a good enough reason to live!"

Miriallia took a deep breath. _Well, at least she's talking. _"But don't you think you're being selfish, too? There are a lot of people who need you. There are a lot of people who are waiting for you to share you grief with."

Cagalli turned her head sharply to look at her directly in the eye. "Like who? The people who think Athrun deserved to die? The people who watch every story about me and him as if we were a freak TV show?" the princess asked sarcastically. She was beginning to raise her voice.

Miriallia shook her head gently. "No," she said softly. "I'm talking about the people who care about you. Your friends, your brother. And not all citizens of Orb look at you that way. Some of them actually care."

Tears formed at Cagalli's eyes and she buried her face in her hands. "It's hard, Milly," she sobbed. "It's so hard. I feel so awful and hurt that he left me. I always ask myself why it had to happen. I told him that what he was doing was escaping but all he told me was that he was sorry...

"At times I want myself to move on but, it seems as if I'm stopping myself. Like moving on would be forgetting him. And I don't want that to happen, Milly. I don't want to forget him!"

Miriallia took a deep breath. "Nobody's asking you to forget him. Believe me when I tell you that I know how you feel. I felt the exact same thing when –" she felt her voice break. "– when Tolle died. But pushing your friends away won't help you. Kira, Sai, and Kuzzey, they all helped me go through that terrible ordeal in my life.

"It may hurt at first but with the help of your friends...you'll survive this." Miriallia shook her head apologetically. "I'm sorry for sounding so preachy. And I won't pretend that I'm very knowledgeable in this area, but I'm telling it from personal experience. I'm still not completely over Tolle, but… I'm trying. I know he wouldn't like it when he sees me sad. And I'm sure Athrun wouldn't want you looking like this, either."

Cagalli's shoulder shook as she continued to cry. Miriallia felt her heart break as she saw Cagalli's anguished sobs. She knew exactly what the princess was feeling. She hugged her and rubbed her back soothingly. "Okay, Cagalli. Just cry for now…"

-

Cagalli didn't push Miriallia away. She believed her. She knew this girl understood her. She knew what Miriallia was talking about. How many times had she told herself the same thing? But sometimes, knowing the solution doesn't always solve the problem… especially when you lack the will or the power to carry out the solution.

Kisaka told her several days ago that she had to pull herself together. Some of the representatives were eyeing her position and would love to take control of everything. He told her that she needed to pull herself together and she snapped at him, accusing him of being an insensitive prick. And just a few hours ago, Kira and Lacus had made the effort to visit her and check up on her and how did she respond? By giving them the cold shoulder.

She'd been so bitchy to everyone and anyone who only wanted to help her and she felt guilty for pushing them away.

Cagalli took a deep breath and gently pulled away from the hug. "Thanks for talking to me, Milly."

Miriallia smiled. "It's okay, Cagalli. We're your friends. Don't push us away, okay? Nobody's asking you to forget Athrun. All we ask from you is to let us share in your misery."

"I'll try," Cagalli sniffed and choked back a sob. "But you know how selfish I can be sometimes," she joked half-heartedly.

Miriallia saw two figures running towards them in the distance and smiled. "Maybe you can try now."

Cagalli followed Miriallia's gaze and saw her twin brother together with a very good friend. She saw Miriallia at the corner of her eye wave a little.

"Cagalli!" Kira called out. "We've been looking all over for you! We were so worried!" And he sure looked the part. His shirt was drenched in sweat and he was panting slightly.

Cagalli wiped away her tears and smiled gratefully at him.

Lacus hugged Cagalli and helped her and Miriallia to stand up. Her face was full of worry. "Please don't do that again, Cagalli."

"I'm sorry for being so rude," Cagalli apologized sincerely. She turned to Miriallia. "Thank you very much, Milly." Then, she smiled, her first genuine smile in weeks, "Let's go home."

-

He sighed in relief as he saw the scene unfolding before him. He had arrived, a couple of minutes before the pink-haired lady and the brown-haired young man. He felt his lips curl up in a slight smile, after seeing the somewhat-happy look on the princess' face.

_Maybe everything's going to be okay...But I'll stick around just to make sure._

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_**Author's Notes: **Well, if someone's still bothering to read this, please review and tell me what you think. Did you notice the changes? Which is better? The first draft or this one?_


	3. Chapter 2 Happenstance

_**Edited: **231105_

_**Changes: **Major changes with sentence construction; some paragraphs added; plot still the same_

**

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**-**

**Chapter 2 - Happenstance**

**-**

The room had been witness to many chronological events. It was where the fate of two twins was decided. It was where a leader became a father and a stubborn child a daughter. It was where two parents requested for their son's innocence. It was where a leader became a hero. It was where a daughter found solace during turbulent times.

The room itself was fairly simple – not too classy, not too flashy, with just the right amount of casual elegance. The walls were painted a nice shade of white and the floor was carpeted with lush purple. The lighting was dark giving the room a warm, homely appeal. An oak desk was placed on one corner of the room, several personal items strewn on top of it. Shelves lined a part of the wall, filled with books from _Politics for the New Era_ to _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_. Two couches, dark violet in color, were placed in the middle of the room with a center table in the middle. Various papers, magazines, and other books littered the top of the table.

And now, it was about to witness the birth of a leader or the downfall of a nation. And it all depended on one person.

Ledonir Kisaka uncrossed his arms and stared at the door, waiting patiently for it to open. He had received a call from Cagalli that morning, asking him to stop by at Rep. Uzumi's – no – _her_, office. It was hard to believe that the stubborn, boyish, little child that he had watched over for so many years, was about to carry the weight on a nation on her small shoulders.

But Cagalli was still that stubborn, boyish, but-no-so-little-anymore child in so many ways – a child who just recently lost a father and a loved one because of the war. He knew that what he said up in space was a little too harsh, but Cagalli needed to realize that she should learn to let go, that those things happened to make her stronger.

He had always been there for Cagalli, acting not just as her bodyguard but also as her confidante – the closest thing that the princess had as a best friend. Sometimes he thought that maybe the reason why Cagalli acted like a boy was because of him. He vaguely remembered the time when Cagalli was 7. A boy told her he liked her and she punched the boy in the face.

He knew everything about her – her allergies, her phobias, her extreme dislike towards dresses and all things girly, her unusual fascination with guns, her non-existent cooking skills – _everything_. He knew everything about her and Athrun – from the first time they met and until he died. He knew of her feelings for him, of his feelings for her, of her doubts, fears and insecurities. He knew of the unbearable grief that she felt – _was feeling_ when he passed away.

And at times like this, he wished that Rep. Uzumi had hired a lady bodyguard instead, for the reason that a female would know exactly what to say to ease Cagalli's sadness.

Like his current situation, for instance. He knew _what_ he should say. The problem was, _how_ should he say it without sounding like an 'insensitive prick'?

His train of thought was put to a stop when the door opened, admitting a serious-looking Cagalli. He could tell by the look on her face that she meant business but he didn't miss the sad look in her eyes, which were still red from crying.

He stood up and waited for her to acknowledge him before taking his seat once more. Cagalli gave him a tired grin and sat on the couch opposite from him. He sat back down and cleared his throat. "How are you?"

She gave him a small, sad smile. "Okay, I guess." She averted her gaze and stared intently at her lap, twisting her hands nervously.

It was a sign that she was anxious. She looked like the way she did waiting for a telling-to from him. Kisaka smiled. "Cagalli," he began in a gentle tone. "You wanted to tell me something?"

Cagalli visibly relaxed. "I want to know what's been happening since I, uh, I mean, when we, um, came back," she stuttered. She looked down guiltily and he noticed that she was fiddling with her thumbs.

"Cagalli, you don't have to act so nervous around me," he said kindly. "I put the reports on your desk, but I will give you a brief summary of what has been going on."

She smiled uncertainly at him. "Thanks."

"You'll be glad to hear that we're almost halfway through the reconstruction," he reported. "With the help of various other neutral nations like the Kingdom of Scandinavia, everything will be back to normal in a few weeks."

"That's good," Cagalli commented.

Kisaka watched her expression carefully. He sighed and shook his head slightly, knowing that there was no other gentle way of putting it. "There's another thing, Cagalli. Some of the representatives from the other noble families want the Athha family to step down. They keep saying that you're still very young and you're still not emotionally stable," he said grimly.

When Cagalli remained silent, he took a deep breath and plunged on. "They also think that your views would be clouded… because of Athrun."

At that Cagalli raised her head sharply and said angrily, "That's unfair! They know that Athrun defected and – God!" She threw up her hands exasperatedly. "He sacrificed himself just so GENESIS wouldn't blow up the Earth! How did they know of us anyway?"

"See, that's another thing, Cagalli. The news says we were the ones who exposed your relationship with Athrun but I suspect that some of the Emirs were behind it. They want to gain leadership of Orb. They keep on spreading rumors about you and Athrun, making him look like an evil person who 'brainwashed' you. Now, the citizens are confused and are starting to doubt your capabilities in running the country."

Cagalli stared at him in disbelief and shock. "What?"

Kisaka sighed. "Remember what I told you about some of them thinking about joining the Alliance? It's like hitting two birds with one stone for them. They get you out of the picture and make the citizens even more wary of ZAFT."

Cagalli was close to tears. She looked at him expectantly, as if he had all the answers. "What do you think I should do?"

Kisaka returned her gaze. Cagalli had never asked for his opinion before – he knew her as a stubborn, determined girl. He could tell that something was off with her. He had to make sure. "First, I need to ask you something." He looked at her face searchingly. "Do _you want_ to take over your father's place as leader of Orb?"

Cagalli's face fell. She looked uncertain. "Yes..."

Kisaka sighed yet again, and then he stood up. "I'm giving you one week, Cagalli. Think things through, and then we will release your statement to the public. See you in a week."

_This is a battle that Cagalli needs to face alone. No one can make this decision for her._

-

Cagalli had asked initially that Kira accompany her during her talk with Kisaka but he refused. Kira thought that Cagalli should have that talk alone. Cagalli had been reluctant but he promised that he will wait for her outside the office and will be there for her once the meeting had ended.

He leaned on the wall and crossed his arms, slightly worried for Cagalli. He knew it was too soon, but he hoped Cagalli would make the right decision. He heard the door open and he straightened up. Kisaka bowed his head slightly to acknowledge him.

"It's over. She's inside," he said simply before walking away.

Kira stared after his back curiously, wondering what went on inside. He walked towards the office and knocked twice before opening the door. He stood in the doorway, still holding to the doorknob. "Cagalli? May I come in?"

Cagalli looked up and smiled weakly. Her eyes were watery.

"So...what happened?" he asked. He sat down beside Cagalli.

"Did you know what they were saying about Athrun?" she asked tearfully.

"I saw it on the news," he admitted gravely, a frown marring his features.

"Whatever they're saying, Athrun's not like that all!" Cagalli burst out.

"I know." Kira put his hand on Cagalli's shoulder in an effort to calm her down. "I know," he repeated.

"Do you miss him?" Cagalli asked quietly.

"Very much. Sometimes, I wish that we spent the time with each other being friends rather than fighting against each other," he answered sadly. "But if there was one thing that I have learned in the war, it would have to be how to let go and how to move on."

Cagalli wiped away her tears. "I know. But how do I do it?"

"We all have different ways of dealing with our grief. And I would be a hypocrite if I tell you that I have moved on."

"I'm just so confused," she confessed sadly. "I don't know what to do anymore. I know I promised you I'll try to snap out of it but, I can't. I want to help Orb but I don't think I'll be able to run a whole country even with your help!"

Kira gave her an encouraging smile. "Cagalli, I know you can do it. It doesn't matter what they say. Prove them all wrong."

Cagalli shook her head. "Easier said than done. Kisaka said that I'll have to announce my decision by this time next week. I don't want to make the wrong choice, Kira. What if I take over my father but I end up messing things up?"

Kira remembered what Mwu La Flaga told him during his moment of hesitation being the Strike's pilot. "If you have the power to do something, you should, and you must also have the will and the resources," he added, thinking of Lacus.

"You already have the power, I'm sure of it – the resources, too. All you need is the will," he continued. "I know that it's not the same as piloting a mobile suit but, if you were able to save the world, I'm sure you can do this."

He waited for Cagalli's reply. But when she didn't say anything, he engulfed her in a brotherly hug. "This is one decision you have to make by yourself. But whatever choice you make, I'll be behind you one hundred percent."

Cagalli seemed to be carefully absorbing his words. "Thanks, Kira," she said gratefully, as she pulled out of the hug.

Kira ruffled her hair affectionately, "Anything for my little sister."

And just as expected, Cagalli swatted his hand away and snarled, "There's no way I'm younger than you. I'm definitely the older twin."

-

After their talk, Kira had wanted to spend the rest of the day with her but she refused, saying that Lacus was waiting for him. She said she needed the time to think about certain things and after assuring him that she was going to be just fine, he finally relented.

Kira had left for Reverend Malchio's island, leaving her to think, just like she wanted. But she wasn't able to think things through like she intended to. Her thoughts were just jumbled pieces and she couldn't think straight.

Deciding that what she needed was fresh air, she immediately put on a pair of jeans, a shirt, her windbreaker, a cap and a pair of sunglasses. Cagalli looked at herself in the mirror. She was completely unrecognizable. _Perfect._

She knew she promised Kira and the others that she won't run away again, but technically, she wasn't running away. It was more like 'going out'.

She tiptoed quietly down the hallway and went to the kitchen. She remembered that there was a little gate near the kitchen's back door. She could sneak out through there. But she knew it wasn't going to be easy because she wouldn't only hiding from passing guards making their rounds but also those nosy reporters outside the main gate. She just hoped no one would think about passing through her escape hatch.

It was as if the heavens had answered her plea – she met no one on her way out. Once she was outside, she casually snuck her hands through her jeans pocket and walked away, smiling slightly to herself.

-

He was a bit surprised when he saw the princess go out of the same gate that the brown-haired young man and the pink-haired lady used the other day. He almost didn't recognize her because her face was hidden by her cap and sunglasses. He shook his head as he remembered that Cagalli had a knack for going out incognito.

He waited at least five minutes before going after her. He knew that the road was a good 500 meters away and he didn't want to be seen by her.

When he reached the main road, he thought he almost lost her. But he spotted her walking slowly in the direction of a mall.

He looked around. Even after being attacked by the EA, the city was still a buzz. The sight always seemed to amaze him – Orb was on its way to a full and speedy recovery.

He saw her enter a coffee shop near the mall. With a final glance at his surroundings, he pulled his cap low and waited a full three minutes before coming after her.

It smelled like freshly-brewed coffee and as he looked around, he noticed that only a few people had decided to take an afternoon coffee/tea break. He went to the counter and the barista gave him a once over and laughed.

"What's this? Hide-your-face day?" she asked jokingly, probably in reference to Cagalli's 'disguise'.

He gave her a withered look and placed an order for a cup of cappuccino. While he waited for it, he turned around and quickly scanned the store behind his sunglasses. He saw her at the farthest corner, playing with her latté. Her eyebrows were wrinkled and she seemed to be deep in thought.

After he got and paid for his coffee, he chose a table where he could see her perfectly. He sat there silently; his cappuccino ignored, and contented himself with the sight of her.

**-**

_Athrun... can you help me? Can you give me an answer? You know, I'm trying hard to move on because Kira and the others keep telling me that you'll be sad if you saw me crying and forgetting about my life._

_I must say I'm doing a good job. But only in front of other people. I don't want them to worry anymore, so I cry when I'm alone. When no one can see me._

Cagalli took a deep breath and forced herself to think about other things. Now was not the time for that. She promised Kira and Kisaka that she will think about her decision carefully. She diverted her gaze to the glass windows and observed the bustling city street.

_Kisaka was right..._

She sipped a little of her latté and frowned when she noticed something peculiar from the reflection of the glass windows. A guy was looking at her, stock still, not even bothering with his coffee. His black hair was peeping out of his cap and he was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses but she was sure as hell that he was staring at her.

She pretended to look at something as watched him from the corner of her eyes. He continued staring at her.

_What's his friggin' problem?_

She wasn't exactly known for her patience. She stood up and marched towards the person, crossing her arms and giving him a death glare. The black-haired young man suddenly sipped his coffee and looked away. She was amused when he suddenly blushed and choked.

She smirked. "Hot, isn't it?" And then she snarled. "Leave me alone, if you want your head the way it is."

With that she turned on her heels and walked out of the coffee shop, not even waiting for him to apologize. Her moment was ruined and she didn't feel like finishing her latté anymore. She stopped for a second to think about where she could go next.

But standing in the street during the afternoon rush hour was a bad idea.

"Hey!" she exclaimed as someone pushed her aside, knocking her off balance. She closed her eyes and braced herself for impact but it never came.

Someone had come to her rescue and prevented her from kissing the pavement and making a big fool out of herself. She felt that someone's arms on her waist and she relaxed unconsciously. She slowly opened her eyes and saw a pair of striking ice-blue eyes behind the dark sunglasses, looking directly through her amber-colored ones.

-

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **Well, if someone's still bothering to read this, please review and tell me what you think. Did you notice the changes? Which is better? The first draft or this one?_


	4. Chapter 3

-

* * *

**Chapter 3**

* * *

- 

Cagalli blushed and quickly pulled herself together. She stood up and mumbled an apology. She knew from the cap and sunglasses that this was the young man she threatened just a while ago.

_How embarrassing_, she thought. _Just my luck. The guy who saved me was the one I threatened with bodily harm a while ago._

He looked at her with a familiar penetrating gaze. Cagalli thought hard. _I know that look from somewhere. I just can't place it._

He suddenly stiffened and began to walk away.

"Hey!" Cagalli shouted. "Wait a damn second!" She didn't know why she was stopping him. Maybe she just didn't want him to go until she recognized him.

She broke into a run and chased after the guy. He turned a corner but when Cagalli reached it, he was gone.

_Damn! No one's ever outrun me before!_ She cursed inwardly. She stopped and took a minute to regain her breath.

_Who was he, anyway?_ she thought, annoyed. She racked her brains on where she might've seen him before but it drew a blank.

_Argh! Screw it! Maybe he was just some weirdo who considered messing with other people's minds fun._ She forced herself to forget about him and walked in the direction of the park.

She paused at the park entrance. It was so quiet and peaceful. Only a handful of people were basking in the late afternoon sun. She found a spot that was shaded by trees and sat on the grass. She closed her eyes and inhaled the fresh air. When she opened her eyes, she saw the clouds rolling gently by and frowned.

She thought that being surrounded by such a peaceful scene would make her peaceful, too.

But what she was feeling was anything but peaceful. There was that feeling again. The feeling of loneliness and of her heart being ripped in two.

She hugged her knees and buried her face in them. _No one can see me here. It's okay to cry..._

**-**

"Hey, these are pretty good," the man behind the counter of the printing shop commented, pointing at the pictures. "Are you a professional photographer or something? You should have these put in an exhibit or something."

Miriallia smiled bashfully. She looked at the photographs that she had taken. Breath-taking scenes, human interest shots, and many others. She stared at them as if seeing them for the first time. "They are pretty nice."

"Oh, stop being so modest!"

She smiled and thanked the man as she exited the shop. She took a shortcut and proceeded to the residential area of the town. It was still early but she wanted to help her mom prepare dinner.

She thought about what the man said and she grinned to herself. Her parents also thought that her shots were wonderful. _Maybe I could get a job at the local newspaper as a photographer._

She smiled at the thought. The war was finally over and she was ready to start her life anew...

"I'm home!" she announced. She went inside and saw her mom in the living room talking to someone on the phone.

"Oh, here she is," her mom said. She cupped her hand over the receiver and said, "It's for you."

"For me?" she repeated. She took the receiver from her mom. "Who is it?"

"Someone named Dearka," her mom said, smiling slightly. She walked towards the kitchen. "What a polite young man..."

Miriallia blushed profusely and thanked her mom. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. "H-hello?"

"Miriallia? It's Dearka."

"Yeah, my mom told me. How are you?"

"Er...I'm okay. Um...and you?"

"Okay."

Silence.

She hated uncomfortable silences so she decided to do something about it. "Er...How are things at the PLANTs?"

At that, Dearka groaned. "Yzak's torturing me. He got promoted and he's making it his life's mission to order me around."

She laughed. "Really? I didn't know he hated you that much."

"Yeah, well, I'm just letting him enjoy himself while it lasts," he grumbled. "Once the peace talks are over and everything turns out okay, I'm going to quit the military."

"Be nice to him." Miriallia sighed sadly. "Especially, now that there's only the two of you left."

Dearka was silent again. She clamped her other hand on her mouth. _Me and my big mouth._

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't think -"

"No, it's okay," Dearka interrupted her. "Let's just talk about other things."

She nodded, then feeling foolish she said, "Okay..."

"Um...Miriallia, the reason I called was because I want to tell you something, um, I wanted to, uh, apologize for being such a jerk when we first met," Dearka stuttered.

She giggled. She imagined Dearka, the former rude, obnoxious and arrogant Buster pilot squirming. "You already apologized for about the hundredth time."

"I-I did?"

Then she heard someone in the background.

"_Would you just tell her the goddamn reason why you called? Jeez! You're so slow!"_

_"Mind your own friggin' business, Yzak."_

_"That's Commander Joule to you, subordinate!"_

_"Oh, please. Our shifts are over and you're standing on the same ground as I am now. Just - why don't you go back to your mother and play 'coochie-coochie-coo' or something - Ow! I'll get you for that later, you white-haired freak!"_

Miriallia couldn't stop herself, she laughed out loud.

"Oh? Miriallia? Did you hear that? I'm sorry but Yzak was being an ass and...well..." and Dearka was again at a loss for words.

"He sounds kind of jealous. What is it that Yzak wanted you to tell me anyway?" she teased.

Dearka caught on the hidden meaning and sputtered. "H-hey! That's not what he meant!"

"So, why don't you just tell me whatever it is you want to tell me?"

Dearka took a deep breath. "Actually, I wanted - I just wanted to say hi, and that I, uh, I miss you."

Miriallia felt her heart skip a beat. "T-that's very thoughtful of you, Dearka."

"Well, um, it's not that I meant something by it or anything. I'm not expecting you to say the same thing. It's just that I've been thinking about how things are back there. And I also miss Kira, Lacus, Cagalli, Sai, Murdoch, Capt. Ramius, and the others. Of course, I missed you, too and well, I'm not suggesting anything or...um...and well, I was worried and..."

As Dearka babbled on and on, she smiled and said, "Dearka?"

"Y-yes?" he asked nervously.

"I miss you, too."

**-**

He watched Cagalli silently behind the trees a couple of meters away. He promised himself that what happened earlier that day won't happen again. He had been careless and it almost cost him his head. Literally speaking.

He chuckled softly. _Such violence..._

He looked at the princess again and felt his heart ache at the sight of her. _She's crying again..._

He had seen from afar how she acted around her friends and when she was alone. Ever since that incident on the beach, two days ago, he noticed that she was trying her best to act normal and happy around her friends. But at night, when she was alone, she would always cry herself to sleep...

_It's a good thing I decided to stay. I swear I won't leave her side... I'll watch over her until she completely gets over her grief._

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt his cell phone vibrate. Someone was calling him.

He rolled his eyes when he saw the name of the person who dared disturb his musings. He walked farther from Cagalli before answering the call just to be sure she wouldn't hear him.

"What?" he snapped, not bothering to hide his annoyance.

"Nice to hear from you, too," Dearka answered sarcastically. "I just called to check up on you since you conveniently _forgot_ that you were supposed to call us three days ago!"

"I got here okay. Everything's fine except..." he trailed off.

Dearka sighed. "Look. If it were up to me, I wouldn't bother. But you know, _Commander_ Yzak Joule's on the case."

"I bet he was the one who told you to call me."

"More like commanded. Anyway, how's your charge?"

"Charge? Oh, you mean Cagalli? Still not okay..."

Dearka sighed. "I was hoping she was. I was talking to Miriallia a while ago and she told me everything."

"Sad, isn't it?" he asked quietly. "You and Milly are lucky it didn't happen to you. At least you can still go back to her once everything's over."

"Yeah..." Dearka admitted blissfully.

"Listen, I gotta go. I might lose her."

"Yeah, sure. Don't forget. You only have two more days to set your affairs in order," Dearka reminded him.

"I know. I'll call when something happens."

"You better. We don't want to lose another one again."

They said their goodbyes and he hung up.

_Only two more days.._.

**-**

When she had finished crying, she thought about what she and Kisaka had talked about this morning. She sighed sadly.

_I want to help Orb, but I don't think being chief representative is the answer. No matter what I do, I just can't forget about Athrun._

_The other representatives are right. How can I run this country if I'm still emotionally unstable? I know that Kira and the others would be very disappointed. I know that renouncing my title would risk Orb's neutral state. I know I'm being selfish..._

_But I can't do it. Not now. I don't think I have the strength or the will to do anything. I'm tired of all the war, the politics. I just want to spend the rest of my life in solitude..._

_They say that someday, I'll get over this. I've always believed that. But I just realized, what if I don't want to let go of my grief? Yes, it stops me from living the rest of my life. It brings me unending sadness. But…it's also the only thing I have left._

_I don't want to think about it anymore. I think it's better this way. I just want to live in peace. Without anything to think about._

_You don't have to wait until next week for my answer, Kisaka. I've made up my mind_.

With that, she stood up and decided to go home. It was already past 6. The sky was already dark. Dinner at the mansion was always at 7 but she didn't feel like eating. She was sure that Kira and Lacus were still at Reverend Malchio's while Kisaka had been very busy the past few days.

_Father, Athrun, I'm sorry for not being able to meet your expectations. I know you understand what I'm going through._

The way back to the Athha estate was uneventful. She noticed that there were only a handful of reporters outside her house now. _Maybe some of them decided to just wait for my statement next week._

She went directly to her room and told Mana that she didn't want to be disturbed. She was so tired that she went to sleep not bothering to change into her pajamas.

**-**

_Athrun tackled her to the ground, he was about to kill her when she screamed. Athrun stared at her in disbelief._

_"You're a girl?" he asked, his eyes and mouth wide open in shock._

_He offered her some of his ration. "Here, eat this. Food is still the same for ZAFT."_

_"My mother was on Junius Seven," he revealed. "It was just an innocent farming colony that was destroyed in the blink of an eye…"_

_"I mobilized immediately after atmospheric re-entry," he said, his deep, aquamarine eyes closing sleepily._

_"If you do that, I have no choice but to kill you," he threatened. "So don't do anything foolish."_

_"Hey!" he called out. "You're sure you're not with the Earth Forces?"_

_He smiled. "It's Athrun."_

_"I didn't want to kill Kira," he admitted tearfully. "But I had no choice! He killed Nicol!"_

_He looked at her uncertainly. "You're giving this to me? Even if I killed Kira?"_

_He was floating by the observation deck, arm in a sling and deep in thought. "My father is a lost cause."_

_Athrun suddenly pulled her in a one-armed hug. "I'm sorry for making you worry."_

_"I'll protect you, Cagalli," he promised, sealing it with a kiss."_

_"Cagalli!" Athrun called out worriedly._

_"We don't have any other choice. Get out of here now!" he ordered her, voice firm._

_Athrun...what you're doing is escaping..._

_"I'm sorry, Cagalli. I won't be able to keep my promise," he said quietly._

_No..._

_"Please, go now. Before GENESIS explodes."_

_No..._

_"Yzak! Get Cagalli away from here!"_

_No..._

_"GO!"_

_No…_

"NO!"

She woke up, drenched in sweat. It was that dream again. _Athrun..._

She buried her face on her hands and cried.

_Why did you leave me? Why? I can't live without you...You're so unfair..._

**-**

He peered carefully in Cagalli's window. He knew that what he was doing was risky. Very risky. But when he heard her crying, he couldn't resist.

When he saw her prone form, curled up in her bed in a fetal position, he was very tempted to reach out and hold her in his hands. He longed to wipe away her tears and tell her that everything will be alright.

He looked at Cagalli once more. Seeing her like that made him regret his decision.

He couldn't take it anymore. He could no longer be the silent observer. Throwing all caution to the winds, he carefully unlatched the windows. He took off his contact lenses and pocketed them. He removed his cap and let his now-black hair fall freely on his shoulders. He took a deep breath and opened the windows.

-

_**

* * *

**_


	5. Chapter 4

* * *

**Chapter 4**

* * *

- 

Cagalli didn't know how long she stayed that way. Curled up and, as usual, crying her heart out.

What made her shift from her position was the sound of one of her windows creaking. She choked back a sob. Someone was in her room. She was sure of it.

She stiffened when she felt a pair of hands on her shoulders and whispered, "Cagalli."

She turned to the direction of the voice. That voice. She'd recognize that voice anywhere.

"Athrun? Is that you?" She sat up and reached out to touch the face of the man that had been haunting her dreams.

Only the light from the moon illuminated her room, but she could see that it was really him.

"Cagalli..." he suddenly hugged her. "I-I'm sorry..."

Had this been a scene from a movie, the lead actress would immediately just cry and announce that all is forgiven. But this was no movie and Cagalli Yula Athha was no actress. And because Cagalli was Cagalli...

_Slap!_

"Why didn't you listen to me! Why did you leave me?"

Athrun looked stunned for a minute and then broke into a sad smile. "I'm sorry, Cagalli. But you have to understand, I had no other choice."

"Why wouldn't you have any other choice?" she asked angrily. "You threw the Fatum-00 at me and let it drag me back!"

She then leaned on his chest and cried.

"Please, don't cry anymore, Cagalli. I came back to tell you that," he explained gently. "You have to understand that just because I'm gone now doesn't mean that your life has to end."

Cagalli cried harder in his chest. "Don't leave me again..."

"You have so many things ahead of you. Don't throw your life away just because of me. It pains me to see you like this," Athrun told her gently.

"How can you ask me that? I can't do it without you! I can't live without you! Why didn't you just take me with you? We could've died together! Why did you leave me? Wasn't I reason enough for you to choose to live?"

"There was no other choice. I...it was the only thing I could think of." He shook his head. "I promised you that I'll protect you. And that was what I did. Cagalli, please, listen to me carefully."

He cupped Cagalli's chin and forced her to look at him in the eye. "Promise me you'll continue living. Promise me that you're going to live your life to the fullest. Please. It pains me to see you like this."

She looked away tearfully. "I-I don't know..."

"Please, Cagalli. We fought for peace, fight for it also. A lot of people are counting on you. I believe you can do it, I'll always be with you and I'll always protect you." With that he took out something from his pocket.

Cagalli gasped when she saw what it was. It was the necklace she gave to him. But the stone looked smaller and jagged than before. "T-this is..."

"I'm sorry, I chucked it in two," he apologized. "This will protect you..."

He put it on her and hugged her tightly, voice breaking. "I-I love you, Cagalli. I'm sorry for leaving you alone... I'm sorry..."

"I love you, too, Athrun."

They kissed for what seemed to be the last time. Athrun gently pulled away to look at her amber eyes.

"Please don't make me regret my decision. Please."

"I-I'll try to - to move on... I'll accept the position that my father left behind and I'll t-try to continue our fight for peace."

He seemed satisfied with her answer and they held each other for what seemed like an eternity. An eternity that in reality, would only last for a few hours.

**-**

Cagalli woke up to find herself alone in her bed. _Where's Athrun? _she thought frantically.

She looked around and when she saw no one, she felt tears in her eyes. She quickly brushed them away. _I promised him I won't cry anymore...Even if it was a dream..._

She stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and red like always, but they also looked alive, unlike the past few days. She bit her lip uncertainly, wondering if she made the right decision. Her gaze fell on the roseate stone that was resting innocently on her neck.

She held it up tearfully. _A dream, huh? I won't disappoint you, Athrun. I'll show you what I can do. And when we see each other again..._

She hurriedly took a shower and got dressed. It was going to be a long day. She went directly to her office, not even bothering to have breakfast first.

She picked up the phone and took a deep breath. "Hello? Kisaka? It's Cagalli. I've made up my mind."

She was sure she was making the right decision.

**-**

"I'm going to take the position of chief representative."

He heard it clearly from his position behind a bookshelf. He could hear the firmness and determination in her voice, and it made him smile.

_That's it, Cagalli. Forget about Athrun. He's already dead._

He looked at Cagalli one last time, memorizing every thing about her, taking in her blonde hair and golden eyes. He wiped the tears in his eyes and proceeded to make his escape.

After a few minutes he found himself back at the beach were he saw Cagalli with Miriallia the other day. He sat on the sand and basked in the early morning sun. Technically it was his third time in Earth and in Orb. He didn't have the time to enjoy the scenery then because of…a few things.

He didn't know why this particular beach was deserted, but it suited him just fine. After this week's rendezvous, he doubted whether he could go visit Earth again. Or Cagalli. After this, he won't be allowed to come near the princess within a 10 kilometer radius.

"I'm such an idiot," he murmured to himself, thinking of his decision. _I thought it wasn't going to be this hard. Will I be able to see her again?_

His thoughts were once again interrupted by someone calling his cell phone. He sighed when he read who the caller was.

"Hello?" he said unenthusiastically. Yzak was worse than Dearka.

"When are you coming back, you dolt!" Yzak thundered without preambles. "I'm getting tired of covering up for your stupid ass up here!"

"Sorry," he apologized sincerely. "I'm taking the next shuttle available. Don't worry."

"Good. The Council has been bugging me about you. They were afraid you've run off somewhere."

He sighed noisily into the receiver. "Both you and I know that's very unlikely. What with their _spies_ watching over me."

He could almost see Yzak smirking. "You noticed?"

"Who wouldn't?"

"Well, you know some of the reps aren't very keen on the idea of letting you go alone. You know too much. If I were you, I'd have stayed inside the Justice and let myself get blown to unrecognizable bits and pieces. It's better than what you're going through right now."

He laughed amusedly at Yzak. "And since when did you sound so sympathetic?"

"Since I've been responsible for your stupid ass," Yzak snarled. "And since I'm your superior, I'll make your life even more of a living hell, _Alex_."

He flinched when he heard the last word. "You know I hate being called Alex."

"Whatever. Get your freakin' ass here as soon as possible, Zala!"

-

* * *


	6. Epilogue

* * *

**Epilogue**

* * *

- 

_**Princess Cagalli, the New Chief Representative of Orb**_

**_-_**

_In a statement that was released to the press a few hours ago, Princess Cagalli Yula Athha finally decided to take over the position that her father, Lord Uzumi Nala Athha, once held: The Chief Representative of Orb Union. She finally answered the questions regarding Athrun Zala, the war in general, her role in the peace talks between the EA (Earth Alliance) and ZAFT (Zodiac Alliance of Freedom Treaty) and her plans for Orb._

_"I apologize for not being able to handle my responsibilities in the past few days. I was suffering from grief caused by the death of my loved ones, including my father, and, yes, Athrun Zala._

_"I am aware that many rumors and speculations have been formulated but, I ask that you listen to my side of the story and decide the truth for yourselves._

_"I met Athrun Zala last March 8, C.E. 71. I was piloting a Skygrasper and got stranded in a deserted island. By some twist of fate, he also got stranded there. We talked about how the war started and well, there are always two sides to every story. I realized that both the EA and ZAFT were to blame._

_"We met again when he defected from ZAFT and joined the Clyne Faction with me. He realized that he wanted to fight for peace. And so we fought, neither for nor against the EA or ZAFT, but for peace._

_"During the final battle, GENESIS was about to fire with Earth as its target. Athrun and I flew to Jachin Due to stop it but we weren't able to do so. He decided to set the self-destruct mode of his Justice Gundam on GENESIS to destroy it._

_"He wasn't able to make it out alive and I was devastated by it. I just lost my father and the pain of losing another loved one was a blow that I couldn't take._

_"I was determined to renounce my title and just forget about being the leader of Orb. But my friends helped me and I realized that I had a very important role to play. Now, I carry the wishes of my father and Athrun, as well as the others who died fighting for their own beliefs._

_"Rest assured that I will do my best to rule Orb the way it was when my father was chief representative. I believe that my experience in the war has given me a wider insight._

_"I wish that Orb remain its neutral state and help with the peace talks in any way we can. We should all rally together to prevent history from repeating itself._

_"Thank you very much."_

_In other related news, the representatives of the other noble families stressed their desire to help out in any way they can..._

**-**

Yzak Joule turned off the monitor and smirked at his friend. "What do you think, _Alex_?"

_Alex_ just glared at him, not saying anything.

"Shut up, Yzak. You know how he hates being called _Alex_," Dearka Elthman said jokingly, putting emphasis on the hated name. They were sitting in a couch in their private lounging area and had just finished watching the news advisory from Orb.

Yzak rolled his eyes. He looked around to check that no one was there before asking. "What do you think, _Athrun_?"

Athrun sighed. He had been doing that a lot ever since he came back. "I don't know if I should be happy or sad that she decided to move on and, possibly, forget about me," Athrun admitted, playing with his necklace unconsciously.

"You know it's for the best," Yzak grumbled. "There were orders and well, even you have to admit that it was quite impossible for your relationship to continue after the war. You're sort of -" he rolled his eyes again, "- star-crossed lovers or something."

Dearka snorted. "Star-crossed lovers?"

"She's the princess of Orb, and people won't easily forget that Athrun's from ZAFT or his relation to Patrick Zala. It's better this way," Yzak explained exasperatedly. "And he also agreed to it." He jerked his thumb to Athrun's direction. "Good thing my mother's the new Head of the National Defense Committee," Yzak muttered. "Any other and you're sure to have had your heads decapitated."

"Yeah, well, I don't know if I'd still look good without my blonde hair, though," Dearka commented, referring to Athrun's new look. His formerly blue hair was now jet-black in color and his eyes, ice-blue.

"Well, Athrun asked for it," Yzak reminded him, standing up. "See you guys, later. I still have to finish my report." He looked pointedly at Dearka.

Dearka got the hint and followed suit. "Me, too. See you around _Alex_."

They thought Athrun didn't hear them. But when they got to the door, they heard him whisper, "I envy you, Dearka."

His head was bowed low but they saw some tears fall down his lap. The door closed silently and they let him be alone in his thoughts.

They walked towards the office in complete silence.

Until Yzak decided to break it. "You know, I kinda feel sorry for him."

"Did you hear what he said?"

"About how he envied you?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, things between you and Miriallia aren't that complicated. All you have to worry about is her dead boyfriend and how you'd fare against him..."

Dearka glared at Yzak, half-amused, half-infuriated at the boy's insensitivity.

Yzak just ignored him and continued, "...while Cagalli's a princess who has to run a country. It's not the usual Natural-Coordinator dilemma. He would only risk Cagalli's reputation."

Dearka was confused. "Well, Cagalli would definitely choose him over her reputation."

Yzak looked at him exasperatedly. "That's why he pretended to die, genius. He knew that he had to do something to preserve the ideals of the Athha family. Athrun wouldn't want things to be more complicated just so he could keep his love life alive." He snorted. "He's so noble, it's almost pathetic."

"Well, that's how love is, Yzak," Dearka said seriously, thinking about Miriallia.

Yzak ignored the lovesick look on his friend's eye and added, "Plus the other higher echelons of the military won't let him. He knows too much of ZAFT's secrets and they won't exactly agree to a pinky swear."

"Personally, I don't think Athrun would stick with the plans. Sooner or later, he's gonna crack," Dearka noted thoughtfully. He noticed that Athrun had been absent-minded the past few days. During their break, his eyes never left the TV screen which was always on the news. _Even if we had issues in the past, he's still my friend and it's sickening to see him like this. I'll wait for him to come around and when he does, I'll help him escape._

And they walked on, each on their own thoughts, unsure of how long the effects of the war will last.

-

* * *


End file.
